Blog
Attorney Milena Nowicka
“I’ll move out to distance myself from the conflict” – a decision that may negatively affect your situation after the divorce
“I’ll sell the car and protect my assets” – an ineffective strategy and its consequences
“I’ll agree to whatever my spouse demands, as long as the case ends quickly” – why hasty decisions are not worth it
“I want the child to take my side” – courts view this very critically
“I can manage without a lawyer’s support” – enormous risk when the stakes are high
How can you avoid the most common mistakes during divorce proceedings?
Divorce is not merely the formal termination of a relationship with a husband or wife—it is a process intended to regulate various aspects of your life after the dissolution of the marriage, such as contact with children, maintenance (alimony), and the division of marital property. Mistakes made during the proceedings may result in outcomes that are unfavorable to you, with consequences that can be felt for years. Which errors occur particularly often in divorce cases? What should be avoided in order to go through a divorce rationally, without unnecessary stress or financial losses?
One of the most common mistakes made during divorce proceedings is hastily moving out of the jointly occupied residence. You may believe this is a good way to avoid conflict. Unfortunately, such a decision can have serious legal consequences.
Pursuant to Article 281 of the Family and Guardianship Code, each spouse has the right to live in the shared residence in order to meet the family’s needs. Moving out increases the risk that you will be accused of abandoning the family, which the court may take into account when determining fault for the breakdown of the marriage.
Moreover, your departure may be interpreted as consent for the children to remain with the other parent. This, in turn, may affect subsequent rulings regarding the children’s place of residence and the exercise of parental authority.
How can this mistake be avoided? If you must move out, do so only after consulting a lawyer. Always document the reasons for leaving (e.g., domestic violence or the impossibility of continued cohabitation). If necessary, apply to the court for interim measures regulating the use of the residence for the duration of the proceedings.
Some spouses, anticipating a divorce, decide to “hide” assets—by transferring funds to relatives’ accounts, selling a car or other valuable items to family members at a grossly undervalued price, or incurring fictitious debts.
This is a highly risky and, above all, ineffective strategy. Remember that attempts to conceal assets from division are very likely to be noticed by your spouse and, in particular, by the lawyer representing them. Such conduct will also negatively affect how the court perceives you and may be taken into account when determining fault.
Do not manipulate assets in anticipation of divorce. If you have legitimate concerns about the security of your property, consult a lawyer about lawful methods of protection—for example, establishing a property separation agreement with your spouse’s consent prior to the divorce, or seeking a court-ordered property separation with retroactive effect.
It is understandable that you may wish to conclude the divorce as quickly as possible and move on to a new stage of life. Many divorcing couples adopt this approach. However, this does not mean that agreeing to all of the other party’s demands in order to “get it over with” is advisable.
Are you agreeing to inadequate maintenance? Waiving part of your share of the marital property? Accepting arrangements concerning the children even though they are not in their best interests? These decisions will bind you for years. Amending divorce judgments or settlements is difficult, requires proof of a significant change in circumstances, and involves additional costs and stress.
The rule is simple: do not agree to the other party’s terms under time pressure or emotional strain. Consult a lawyer about every proposed settlement. Remember that it is better for the proceedings to take slightly longer than to regret a hasty decision for years afterward.
This is one of the most serious mistakes, the consequences of which will be borne by both you and your children. Obstructing contact with the other parent, “bribing” children with gifts, speaking negatively about the other parent, or pressuring children to choose a “side”—all of these actions will negatively affect the court’s decisions in the divorce proceedings.
The court is guided primarily by the best interests of the child and will therefore consider whether a parent supports the child’s relationship with the other parent. The more you obstruct contact, the worse it will appear in the eyes of the court.
Even if you are in conflict with your partner, respect the child’s relationship with the other parent. Do not involve children in the details of the dispute and do not force them to take sides.
The most serious mistake is attempting to conduct divorce proceedings on your own, especially when the case is complex. The problem is that errors made at the early stages of the process may ultimately cost you far more than a lawyer’s fee.
It is important to note that a lawyer’s role is not limited to drafting procedural documents. An experienced divorce attorney will help you avoid all of the mistakes described above, properly assess your chances in the dispute, develop an appropriate legal strategy, and negotiate the most favorable settlement terms.
Contact a professional at the stage when you are merely considering divorce—before filing the petition. An initial consultation will help you prepare for the proceedings and avoid early mistakes that could determine the outcome of the entire case.
Divorce is a difficult process, but it does not have to be faced alone, nor does it require making avoidable mistakes. Remember the key principles: do not make impulsive decisions driven by emotion, document everything, consider the long-term consequences of your choices, and do not manipulate marital assets.
Seek assistance from a lawyer specializing in family law. Such a professional will not only prepare the divorce petition but will also represent you throughout the proceedings, ensure that your rights are respected, and help you avoid costly errors—errors that are far more likely when acting on your own than those described in this article.
